Can somebody explain to me why I care about the number of medals Great Britain win at the Olympics?
Today I found myself watching, with interest, the show jumping round of the three-day eventing. We are talking about a sport where a load of rich people in silly clothes prance around on horses trying to jump over little wooden gates. And yet I sat there watching hoping that the GB team would get a medal. And they did. So, I now find myself hoping that some German woman I've never met or heard of before today gets disqualified for some infringement I don't understand, just so Britain can win it's first gold. It is so pathetic.
I also find myself watching the sailing results carefully, hoping that Ben Ainslie and co. can get us some gold medals. I don't even know what a Finn, Laser or 49er is... but still I care. At least I don't feel too bad about hoping for Pincent to get a fourth gold medal in the rowing... 'cause it's a manly sport, quite possibly the most manly of sports.
In case you were wondering, I am sat upstairs in my flat trying to work out when I can go downstairs and have a beer. Do you think I can go yet? What about now? Or maybe now? They installed beer taps today. I could go downstairs and try some draught beer. Plus they've got one of their pretty bar maids working tonight. Oh woe is me, woe is me, woe is me. Fuck it I'm going to go have a beer.