Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn.
I've been meaning to post a Columbus ain't so bad sort of a post for a while. But now Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn has intervened. One of the reasons that I've been warming to Columbus is that I've discoved Trader Joe's grocery store. It's a shop that sells lots of good stuff, some of it organic, some of it European, some of it alcoholic (yea I'm not in retarded Pennsylvania) and generally everything I've bought there seems to be pretty good... but that was before the Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn. One of the reasons that I like Trader Joe's is that when I first went there (last Friday I think) I was wearing my Collina t-shirt, and no less than three people commented on it.
This evening's trip to Trader Joe's started off well. One of the employees, a pretty girlie, feigned mock offence at my (correctly spelled) "You're sh*t and you know you are" t-shirt. Then I picked up a load of stuff that I don't really need and one or two bits and pieces that I do need. As I was making my way to the checkout I noticed the Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn... how I now wish I hadn't.
The beginning of the end occured at the checkout. The lady packing my bags picked up the Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn and said, "No good will come of it!". Was it a prophecy? Was it a curse? Was it a coincidence? Was she mad? Should she have kept her trap shut?
I should at this point, point out that she was refering to how good the Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn was and was not making some doom prophecy for me. At least that was what I thought.
So, I get home. I start cooking some lamb, which was very nice by the way. And whilst it's cooking I open the Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn... big mistake. As I ate maybe the third or fourth piece there was a large snap and a shot of pain on the right hand side of my mouth. After I clean the remaining popcorn from my mouth I notice that I've broken the corner off one of my teeth. It's one of the big ones at the back (molars?) and the corner of the tooth is missing exposing the metal filling. At the moment at least, it's more annoying than painful. But now I've got to go and see a dentist. And it's going to cost me lots of money. And there going to tell me how bad my teeth are. And then it's probably going to cost me even more money. And all because of Fucking Macadamia Nut Popcorn.