"Hello?... Oh, fucking phones man!" The Streets, Such a Twat
"...the place was one of those nowhere places that existed only in order to avoid the embarrassment of having large empty spaces on the map." Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
"As some tight cunt to fuck and leave and fuck again" Thea Gilmore, See if they Applaud
A Grand Don't Come For Free, the new The Streets album, is a bloody marvelous little record. It has 11 songs which follow Mike as he has a shitty day that was suppose to be so easy, is addicted to gambling, gets a girl, goes on holiday, loses the girl, and quite a few other things as well. I'm not really sure what kind of music you would say it is, similar to Original Pirate Material but also distinct from it and better than it. You see why I'm not a music critic now... I lack the descriptive prowess, or at least I lack the flowery bullshit... sadly, all my bullshit is of the non-flowery variety.
Monstrous Regiment is Terry Pratchett's latest full Discworld novel, and it's also very good. Something like Pratchett at his best, well it's got Sam Vimes in it so it must be good... right? Plus, the quote above is the perfect description of the town I grew up in, and the one I currently live in...
This week I did at least discover how you get through an entire weekend without spending very much money. You see normally I wake up sometime on Saturday morning and then, being as I don't possess vehicular transportation and the fact there is bugger all to do in State College, sooner or later I find myself in music shop, or a dvd shop, or a book shop, spending money. Whereas this weekend I got really rather drunk on Friday night, so drunk that they wouldn't let me in the second bar I tried to enter, thus causing me to spend the last half an hour before closing time debating this decision with the bouncer (I guess I was bored). The upshot of the drunkenness was that I only just managed to listen to the Five Live, via the wonderful internet thingy, coverage of the FA Cup final, and didn't actually get out of bed until about 4:30 in the afternoon. By which time there wasn't really any chance of me frittering away any more money. Admittedly, I did have to spend the money on Friday night to get drunk... but half price margaritas really helped there.
I also rediscovered just how sexy it is when pretty girlies say naughty words, see the Thea Gilmore quote above. If I ever write a film, and let's pray for everyone's sake that I don't... or if I do nobody actually films it, it will contain as many gratuitous scenes of pretty girlies saying cunt that I can get away with.
Um... the cricket is nicely poised with England some 274 runs behind with only tomorrow left. The Monaco grand prix was its usual interesting, high attrition race. How has Flavio Briatore had his wicked way with Naomi Campbell and Heidi Klum? Isn't Kristin Kreuk pretty? Didn't I have something more meaningful to say?
I think I wanted to rage about stupid poorly worded road signs. But I'm not sure how much rage I have by this time of the evening. So instead I'll just list a couple of stupid signs that I've seen recently DO NOT PASS I assume meaning do not overtake other cars, as opposed to do not pass the sign, WATCH CHILDREN no don't, watch the road and the surroundings to make sure you don't hit any children, and my current personal favourite BE PREPARED TO STOP I have a sneaking suspicion that one should always be prepared to stop, in fact I think that's why cars generally come fitted with brakes... I don't need a sign to remind me of the brakes.