Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Random nonsense about football

I'm not sure that I have mentioned, recently, my love of Mediawatch on Football365. When the media back home does something stupid, normally in relation to football, they are on hand to point and laugh. Take for instance the front cover of today's Daily Mail. Where, for those to lazy to follow the link, the geniuses (or genii) thought it would be a good idea to put a picture of England's latest hero, Wayne Rooney, next to the headline "THE BABIES WHO LIVED AFTER BOTCHED ABORTIONS". But then again most of the headlines in the Daily Mail are unintentionally funny anyhow.

Now for Ryan's quick capsule review of his watching experience yesterday. I should probably start with the dream I was having on Monday morning. It was one of those huge epic dreams where lots of things happen and you're never quite sure what's going on. There was some running around an underground bunker, a good few minutes spent beating up my laptop when it wouldn't work, a pretty girlie and some swimming in icy cold water to retrieve little fluffy penguin toys. If anybody out there is of oneirocritical nature (my
Ask Oxford word of the day), then maybe they could explain to me what this dream meant. All it meant to me was that I woke up having strained my lower back.

Having sat around all morning at work listening to Five Live's Wimbledon coverage and match build up, I was somewhat excited by the time the TV coverage started 15 minutes before the match. I couldn't sit still and was pacing back and forth across my flat — although this was partially due to the fact that my back hurt while I was sat down and didn't while I was standing up. As far as the TV coverage goes, the BBC coverage was just about a thousand times better than the abortion that ITV offered up.

Then the match started. Croatia scored. And I was sad.

Eventually England equalized. I jumped up in celebration. Then I landed. And my back was in bloody agony.

Then little Rooney had a few moments of magic. The Croatian goalkeeper was described as Mary Ellen with chocolate wrists. England still couldn't defend set pieces. And we won 4-2. I was very happy. Although I still struggled to sit down, as my back still hurt.

Same again against Portugal please. Minus the excessive back pain.

And finally, my childish giggle of day. It came during the pre-match build-up from the mouth of the excellent Alan Green, describing Michael Owen's current dip in form: "... I don't think he has been pulling off defenders as well as he might have been..." followed seconds later by "... when he's got a defender up his backside he's got a big problem...". So you heard it hear first Michael, well second I suppose, make sure you pull of their defenders before they get up your backside. Sage advice I think.

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