So there's this guy, let's call him Ryan, who was lying in bed on Tuesday morning when he hears this loud clattering sound outside. As one is wont to do in such situations he rolls over and goes back to sleep. A little while later, after he has roused himself and prepared himself for the trip to work, he leaves the house and notices a police car with its lights flashing across the road. Seeing nothing else out of the ordinary he heads off to work.
A few hours later, work was slow, he returns home. Once he is back in the safe and warm he decides to drive up to Trader Joe's and buy some cheap wine and possible some food. As he approaches his friends' minivan, of which he has use during their vacation, he notices a little white card stuck under the windscreen wiper. It is an "Exchange of Identification Information" card. He looks around at the car and notices that the back window is taped over and walking around the car he sees this:
The next day he calls the number on the card and has a chat with a very nice, very apologetic gentleman who tells him what happened. Apparently, there was a truck driving down the street with an awning (from Capital City Awning) on the back of the truck. Unfortunately, one of the braces that were attaching the awning to the truck decided to break and the awning, sensing its chance for freedom, dove off the back of the truck. Yet more unfortunately, the awning didn't time its jump very well and dove off the back of the truck into the back of the minivan going something like 30 miles and hour. Ryan forgot to ask the nice man on the phone if the awning was badly injured in the incident but, judging by the damage done to the car, things probably didn't end well for the awning.
The moral of the story is: don't lend Ryan your car as inanimate objects will attack it. Or something like that anyhow.