Monday, February 23, 2004

Sincerely melancholic naked hangovers

I spent most of today lounging around my flat with a nasty hangover courtesy of the excessive quantity of sangria, wine, orange flavoured vodka and vodka flavoured oranges (or possibly mandarins) that I consumed last night. I think it might have been my first hangover since New Year's Day.... but maybe I'm just forgetting one. So, today has not been as productive as it might have been. I think it was close to 6pm (or 18:00 for our European friends who don't like am/pm) before I got round to outing my trousers on. All in all very impressive.

I've noticed that I have several stages of drunkenness (and therefore hangover-ness). If I am just pleasantly drunk on beer or wine then I'll come home and drink lots of water, maybe have an aspirin (or similar), brush my teeth, take my clothes off, go to bed. In the morning I'll wake up either with no hangover or just a slight fuzziness that wears off by midday. If I'm slightly more drunk then I'll forget to brush my teeth and maybe forget to drink any water, but I'll still manage to get undressed and go to bed. The following morning I'll wake up feeling like the beer monkey has shat in my mouth (it's an unpleasant furry taste), and I'll probably be properly hungover. The severity of the hangover being determined by the quantity of sleep obtained, with more obviously being better. Then if I'm truly drunk I'll get home and if I'm lucky manage to take off my coat and shoes and fall asleep fully clad. On the next day I'm usually hungover until at least late afternoon.... sometimes I'm so hungover that the following evening I can't drink... fortunately this is a very rare occurrence.

Last night was a get naked but fail to drink any water or brush my teeth kind of an evening. And after spending all morning in bed I was feeling more or less okay when I got up at 2.... just to assuage any concerns you may have had for my current wellfare.

On Friday I got an email from my landlord saying that they were going to be showing people around my flat that afternoon, as they are trying to rent it for next year. I'm not quite sure what happens if I want to stay. I don't know if there is deadline for me saying "hey I want another year", and if there is whether it has already passed. But anyhow back to my story. So, as I've mentioned before I am currently living all on my lonesome... aahh isn't it sad. And being as I am a twenty-something (six in case you are interested) male, my flat is not entirely all together tidy and clean. It's not truly awful but there are lots of things scattered across the floor (books, cds, games, assorted papers, etc.) and my laundry basket ends up being a big pile of dirty clothes in one corner and my bin is overflowing with rubbish. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary, but none to tidy or clean (I don't own a vacuum cleaner or a mop or anything like that). I'm sure that it was very impressive for whoever was viewing the flat. There was one thing that was the real icing on the cake though. Next to my mattress where I had dropped it last night was a copy of Playboy's book of lingerie. I just really really hope that whoever was being shown the flat were these crazy uptight alcohol hating people who would have been shocked by the mess and pornography... I'm just disappointed that I tidied up my couple of hundred beer bottles when my brother was over here a few weeks ago.

Not really sure what else has been going on in my world of late. Obviously I still spend an unhealthy amount of time daydreaming about one fantastically impossible situation or another. This weekend alone has included: many football (proper football with a round ball) scenarios, most commonly playing for a non-league side beating Liverpool and/or Arsenal in the cup; become a writer and actor and seducing one of Natalie or Scarlett; becoming a music performer and singing/rapping about how I become a singer/rapper just to get girls interested in me; and many more that I can't recall at the moment. I can't help but think I could (or maybe should) be putting all this time and effort to better use... but obviously I'm too lazy for that to be anything but a crazy pipe dream. Much like my intentions to go to the gym/swimming pool and to actually start writing my account of the treble year, still who knows maybe one day I'll actually amount to something.... I wouldn't advise breath holding though.

I'm sitting in a rather pleasant melancholic state at the moment. Well actually I'm sitting in a dish chair that is sagging under my weight in the state of Pennsylvania. But my mood is pleasantly melancholic. As I sit here and wonder what it is that I actually want to do with my life... and wonder how you go about meeting and talking to new people. Never been something that I am terribly good at... which problem explains why I am writing a blog entry at half twelve on a Sunday night following a day when the only person I spoke to was at the checkout of the supermarket. Although in all fairness being as I spent a large part of today asleep it's no real surprise I didn't speak to many people. I think I just don't really understand myself.... but maybe nobody does, understand themselves that it is and not understand me. I'm pretty certain nobody understands me, after all I may well be locked up if they did. You see this is the sort of drivel that a melancholic state leads to, that and long bouts of me staring at my blank walls. Although in all fairness they are pretty walls as blank walls go, a pleasant sort of dirty white colour.

On the plus side I didn't lose any money gambling on Man United beating Leeds on Saturday... but only because my gambling website of choice has been broken all weekend. I hope it's fixed soon as they have almost £100 of my money tied up in their accounts. With any luck it will be back up and running tomorrow. I'm not sure if it is legal for me to place bets on these sites whilst I am here in Pennsylvania.... as I'm pretty sure that gambling is illegal here (or very strictly legislated). But when I place a bet at the UK based site (using my English bank account) am I betting in Pennsylvania or Britain? Damned if I know... or maybe I'll be damned as I don't know.

Another positive this week was that I received my latest application receipt number from the BCIS. For those new to this blog, or those with memory problems.... on the last I-94 card I got from them they managed to confuse my country of birth (Zimbabwe) and my country of nationality (Great Britain). So way back on the 13th of January I sent them an application to replace my card with one which has the correct information on it. The form (I-102) that you fill out to do this is meant to be accompanied by a $100 application fee, but you don't have to pay the fee "if the error(s) on your document was made by BCIS, through no fault of your own." Being as I never told them I was a Zimbabwean national I thought this probably applied to my case, so I sent off the application sans fee. And then on Tuesday or Wednesday I got the standard application receipt number form saying that my fee had been waived and that it would take 30-45 days to process the application. On Friday I received a second letter from BCIS it said:

Dear Sir/Madam:

Reference is made to your Application for Replacement/Initial Nonimigrant Arrival/Departure Document (Form I-102), which you submitted to this office without fee. Included with your application was a request for waiver of the filing fee.

Your request for waiver of the filing fee is approved. However, a decision has not yet been reached on your application. Each applicant must establish eligibility for a requested immigration benefit. Please note: A minimum of 60 days will be required to process your form.



Acting Center Director

Which raised a number of questions for me. If they have agreed to waive the fee then surely they are admitting they made a mistake... and therefore surely they have essentially approved my application, but because they are an evil government organization they feel the need to waste an extra N days of my time. Is it 30,45 or 60 days that it is going to take? And when does the clock start counting on these days. My application was made in mid January so does the clock start then or does it start from when they sent me this letter and if so which letter? What bloody immigration benefit am I requesting? I'm asking them to fix their mistake on their piece of paper which the use to monitor when and where I arrive and leave the country. I was taught in school that you never have Sir/Madam with Sincerely... how sincere can you be if you don't know the name of the person you are writing to? When will I receive the new I-94 card? (I'm betting April/May) What is the chance of them not fucking it up this time? How the bollocks do I go about submitting my tax return if I don't have a Social Security number because I can't apply for one until my BCIS documentation is in order? But I am pleased that they are processing my application, I was beginning to wonder whether my application had been filed in the bin because I didn't submit the fee. It turns out they just waste extra time if you don't pay the fee.

Anyway it's late now and I guess I should turn in for the night.