An apology...

I'm very sorry. In the past I have suggested that George Galloway is that part of the female anatomy that rhymes with the kind of boat found on the river Cam. However I believe that Christopher Hitchens, my newest hero, is probably correct when he says:

Those of us who revere the vagina are committed to defend it against the very idea that it is a mouth or has teeth.

So apologies for likening the repulsive Galloway to that part of a woman. I can't guarantee that in the future I won't make the same accusation again though, as it is one of my most favouritist words.

Here are the full details of what Christopher Hitchens thinks of Galloway, or at least some of the details. Which came to me via last weeks, always excellent, The Friday Thing.

The world gone mad (again)

This is, quite frankly, horribly wrong.

"This is an attempt to say, 'Look, there's a great story here - let's get into it and let's not get put off by the things that are going to be the sub-plot. Let's give you the big plot'."

And now for Ryan's ten word bible:

"Jesus good. Up the bottom bad. Give us your money."

It's just possible that I've watched too many of the crazy evangelicals you get on Columbus TV.

After the dust has settled...

So, on the plus side, I don't think I made a complete and total arse of myself in the interview at UCL yesterday. One of the questions I neglected to ask was when I'd find out about the result, which was probably something of an oversight. But other than that I was quite pleased with how it all turned out.

Despite the fact that every item of clothing I was wearing (with the exception of my knickers, well boxers) was brand spanking new — bought on Friday or Saturday, to be precise — I had very few insults regarding my attire. In fact all I got were a couple of comments about my tie: ugly and too short.

In other news, that nice Mr Gaiman has just released (or his publisher's have at least) his latest book, Anansi Boys, and I am terribly excited about the prospect of buying a copy and reading it.

Incidentally since I arrived in the UK at 10am on Sunday morning, I have successfully spent something on the order of 15 hours (10 on Sunday, 5 on Monday) in licensed premises. Which I think is a quite a good achievement all things considered. Although I suspect that tonight I won't actually be able to add a great number of hours, if any, to the grand total, sadly.

From the airport

So, here I am sat in Port Columbus International Airport, drinking gin & tonic and watching Ohio State trail to San Diego State. I'm off to London in about an hour, well actually I'm off to Detroit and from there I'm off to London, for a job interview at UCL on Monday. It should all be fun and exciting.

For your amusement here is the last message sent to my Gmail account:

Found it!
The Complete Upholsterer by Carole Thomerson ISBN 0 7112 1092 6 
I have just ordered it from Smiths it cost £11.89 if you collect it
from a Smiths Store. otherwise Book Fellas charge £14.61 including
delivery.

Trip to the dentist and more naughtiness

I've just returned from my latest round of mouth abuse at the hands of the dentist. Well actually it was more at the hands of the dental hygenist, but the dentist capped it all by recommending that I get my wisdom teeth removed. Urggh, it's not something I'm looking forward to. At least they knock you out for it, but still it's not something I'm relishing.

In other news, I was very bad again. I realise that I have a problem, but still that doesn't really make it any better. Do you know what I did? I bought one of these. I know it's naughty and unnecessary, but it's so little and cute I just had to have one. And considering my first iPod is now sitting in thirty pieces on top of my counter and the little iPod shuffle I use is fairly annoying without a screen and... okay I'm just making up excuses. Anyhow, it should be sitting at home waiting for me when I get there this evening.

What else? On Saturday I fly back to London for a job interview at my old university, University College London. Which should be an experience. I haven't actually worked out where I'm going to be staying while I'm back in London, but hopefully I'll sort something out sometime this week. The last job interview I had was way back before I started my PhD, it didn't end well as I got upset that the person interviewing me couldn't answer two fairly fundamental questions: How much are you going to pay me? and How long is the average working day? (to the latter I got the response there's no such thing as an average day, and I felt like explaining that if you add up all the hours someone works and... but thought better of it.)

Still haven't taken any photos of my new place, or posted any pics from my time in California and New Mexico, when I get a chance I'll try and rectify that. I also haven't recounted the story of Ryan and the Kansas State Trooper. Or the story of Ryan and Kim and the hotel in Missouri (that's a good one). Or the strange tale of the inhabitants of Columbia, MO. Or mentioned what speed we drove from the volcano to Kim, Colorado. Or said anything about The Aristocrats. Or mentioned Ryan and Brit's trip to the Sunset Lounge, where they spent the evening getting rather drunk on malt liquor.

Oh and apparently I need to floss more. And I've got to write a fellowship application before tomorrow. And it's the first game of the Falcons' NFL season tonight — against the defending NFC champions, the Eagles. And if Atlanta win I make a little spending cash for when I'm in London. And I emphasise the little. And I'm sure my English teachers would all be very impressed that I managed to start five sentences in a row with the word 'and'. And...

The back in my office post

So, finally after many weeks I'm back in my office in Columbus. I've got a new house (which is very nice), a job interview in London (which is also very nice), a new fitness centre (ditto) and some new house mates (which is odd, but so far very nice also).

I think I really fell on my feet with the house, it was great that I arrived at 10 pm on Thursday night and had somewhere to go. In fact by midnight all my stuff was moved in, thanks to a pickup truck, a minivan and a rental car. It wasn't all unpacked, but it was all in the house. I'll have to post a few photos of the place when I have a chance to take them. We even have a swing seat on the front porch. All we need is a rocking chair and the place will be perfect.

Before I talk about our drive home across America, I just want to mention that fun we had last Monday (the day of ANITA's engineering flight). The day started with me staying up all night and getting very confused when people who went to bed kept saying yesterday and I wasn't sure if they meant Saturday or Sunday and ended with a couple of whisky bottles being passed around the picnic tables at the Billy the Kid (the bottles were being passed around so vigorously that Kim, who drove back with me, didn't manage to make it in to work until after five the next afternoon). Whilst the whisky passing was fun, the highlight of the day had to be getting lost on dirt roads in New Mexico while looking for the landing site (dirt roads in which our PI — principal investigator, i.e. big boss man — managed to get his car stuck in the mud, requiring the rest of us to push him out) and doing shots of tequila (with 8 of my fellow collaborators, including the PI), salt and lime included, using the boot of the car as a bar. After the shots we all decided it would be a good idea to climb a nearby rocky outcrop to try and see the payload, we couldn't but had fun scrambling over and under barbed wire fences.

Now I think I might go to the shiny new gym and work off some of the quesadillas and buritos I ate in New Mexico.