The first pre-gym post for a long long while

It's finally happened. The wait is over. And no I'm not talking about the beer monkey becoming Dr Leo Jenner (although on that note a big: What??? and Well Done!), I am instead talking about the long awaited return of the pre-gym blog post. I can't even remember the last time I went to the gym, although I do know it was before my spate of drunken foot mishaps. I can tell you're all purring with excitement.

On the subject of excitement, or rather on the subject of lack of excitement, I spectacularly failed to get myself thrown of the plane from Hawaii for wearing my Pedophiles are fucking immature assh*les t-shirt. It was very disappointing, not even so much as a complaint. What is the world coming to when offensive t-shirts don't cause offence?

On the subject of lack of offence, I managed to talk to a friends grandmother about gay porn this weekend. I was rather proud of myself, it's not everyday that I get to regale grandmothers with tales involving men pleasuring each other. It's not everyday, but it was Saturday. What next? I often wonder.

If we decorate our lovely abode this year, I kind of want to put this up in the front garden.

Think that's all for now.